A 22-year-old man was charged with impersonating a sheriff’s deputy after he pulled over a pickup truck and then called for backup when the suspects fled. The New Yorker had been posing as a sheriff’s deputy for about two years and occaisionally pulled over motorists and lectured them.

A trainee subway driver fainted and fell out of the cabin of a moving subway car after fellow employees graphically discussed a vasectomy operation. Before fainting the trainee had begged the men to stop the graphic talk and had even gotten sick.

A 300-pound gorilla escaped at Boston’s Franklin Park Zoo Sunday injuring a 2-year-old and a teenager before it was recaptured almost two hours later.

State Senator Joseph Suliga, D-Union, has decided to not seek re-election after being arrested last weekend inside a New Jersey Casino for making a lewd proposition to a woman saying, “I want to suck your toes.” The senator went on to graphically describe the night of pleasure he had in mind. Suliga has issued a statement that he is now seeking treatement for an apparent alcohol problem.

A man who slashed a store clerk who caught him shoplifting was arrested after the clerk spotted him three days later wearing a dress stolen from the store. When police picked the man up the price tag was still attached to the red and white polka-dot dress.

A family in Coventry, England, found out the hard way that drinking seawater can cause a fatal sodium imbalance in dogs. After spending a morning at the beach, their dog became ill on the drive home before dying.

Retired General Wesley Clark was known in the Army as a champion brown-noser and know-it-all. General Hugh Shelton, the former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff who engineered Clark’s firing, referred to Clark as a “nut.”