20-year-old Jonathan Taylor Danzey, of Lehigh Acres, Florida, picked a fight with a man dressed as Santa Claus at a local Burger King drive through.

“Santa Claus whupped his butt,” stated Katherine Phillips, 22, of Lehigh, who was in the car ahead of Santa.

Danzey was charged with disorderly intoxication and criminal mischief for busting out a window in a sheriff’s cruiser.

As for Santa, he left before police arrived and nobody knows his identity. He is referred to in police reports as ‘Santa Claus’.

Full story from the News-Press

Jose Rocco, of Santiago, Chile, died while he and his girlfriend were experimenting with erotic asphyxiation. To put it bluntly, the pervert accountant was strangling his lover to heighten her orgasm. Rocco then tried to resuscitate his sex partner by tearing the cord off a hair dryer and shocking her. Authorities say even if the woman hadn’t died of strangulation, she would have died of electrocution.

Full story from Ananova

A group of 21 legislators are pushing a bill to legalise the sale of dog meat in South Korea in time for next year’s World Cup soccer.

Koreans have been eating dog meat for centures and only “meat dogs” are eaten, not pet dogs. Consumption of dog was suppressed during the 1988 Seoul Olympics but was overlooked soon after.

Full story at the Independent Online

A gang of about four raccoons has been burglarizing houses in Fort Myers, Florida. In one house, the animals trashed the kitchen, ate up two loaves of bread, and drank two bottles of beer. They managed to open the beer by breaking the bottles. No state agencies deal with nuisance wildlife and state law forbids residents from relocating the animals.

Full story in the News-Press

Jupiter Media Metrix has announced it will drop some pop-up and pop-under ads from its web traffic statistics. Pop-up bastard Columbia House garnered 51 percent of its traffic from pop-up ads, according to Jupiter, and Bizrate.com grabbed 37 percent of its traffic from pop-ups. Number one asshole X-10, previously ranked number five, now drops out of the top fifty altogether.

Neener neener.

Story on MSNBC

A reindeer smashed through the glass door of a North Carolina home on Christmas eve. A toddler in the home saw the animal and thought Santa had arrived. The reindeer travelled down a hallway and managed to close the door behind itself after entering the bathroom. Police were summoned and they chased the reindeer back into the woods.

Full story from Ananova

A day after getting a cast removed from her wrist a 22-month-old New Zealand girl has suffered a broken ankle when a tombstone fell on her. Her mother, Debbie McDonnell, stated she had concerns about the poor maintenance of the graveyard prior to the incident. Little Danielle McDonnell will likely be in a wheelchair for several weeks.

Full story from the New Zealand Herald